Shaming and Being Judgmental can be a Form of Emotional Abuse
Spending time with critical, judgmental people will not improve your health nor make you happier. It will not help you feel more secure or loved.
Shaming someone through judgmental and criticism is a form of emotional abuse. People often have a hard time realizing someone in their life may be emotionally abusing them, especially if that person grew up in a family that is emotionally abusive. Shaming and criticism may seem like regular ways to discipline, correct people’s behavior and teach children how to think and act. Especially if that is how someone was raised. Parents tend to behave the same way their own parents behaved and the way our culture teaches us to behave.
But research shows that shame does not help people change. Shame says, “I am bad/wrong.” Research also shows that guilt does help people change behaviors. So what is the difference? Guilt says the behavior I did was bad or wrong, but not that I am bad or wrong for this behavior.
How do you know if someone is emotionally abusing you? 30 Signs of Emotional Abuse is a good resource!
The Purpose Fairy, Luminita D. Saviuc, has some Clever Ideas about dealing with judgmental people here.
This post has tips on Dealing with Emotional Abuse.
And Julie Orlov, LCSW, outlines steps to Get Your Power Back and End Emotional Abuse.
What do you think? How do you deal with Emotional Abuse?
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